Weekend Wrap: Taylor Triumphs At WM Gone (Too) Wild
Hoffman loses heartbreaker (and Masters invite), Johnson wins LIV shootout, Hoshino making Masters invite bid, Meronk confirms Ryder snub inspired LIV leap, Riviera preview, and giraffes play through.
Youth Desperation Syndrome (YDS) [yute] [ des-puh-rey-shuhn ] [ sin-drohm, -druhm ]
Definition: an affliction typically infecting overpaid adults seeking the affirmation of people with more robust hair, testosterone, estrogen or perceived young energy who remind the syndrome sufferers of their perceived youth. The syndrome is most commonly found in middle-aged, white, imagination-free golf executives obsessed with lowering the 65-year-old average age of viewers in hopes of selling more ads to companies obsessed with the coveted demo. The syndrome often leads to a profound and embarrassing tolerance of immature behavior and general dumbing down of all activities no matter how time-tested. In some instances, the syndrome has led to a reliance on overpaying influencers to project the appearance of faux youth devotion to buying overpriced stuff, or gritty bro values, or whatever else will convince dimwitted 28-year-old ad executives to approve awful ideas. There remains no known cure for YDS even as recreational golf has grown, has gotten younger and is thriving.
It should come as little surprise to see embarrassing behavior spilling onto the course in the name of “growing the game.” Particularly when the PGA Tour turns up at the Waste Management where fans are encouraged to act like deranged buffoons in the name of…something.
Oh right, it’s the ultimate party, blah, blah, blah.
Charity, blah, blah, Thunderbirds, blah, blah, young people! Being young!
All to make the trash deliver business seem cool as they watch logoclads whap a white ball around a course stained by hideously blinding bunker sand.
Yes, a disaster was bound to happen. And the 2024 edition, played against the Super Bowl in Las Vegas, was only surpassed in awfulness by the sight of Post Malone drinking Bud Light, Taylor’s man winning another ring and Clay Travis being wrong about everything. Again.
Still, this week’s mess in Scottsdale is bound go down as the ultimate turd stain of all Wasted’s. And that’s saying a lot. Players were heckled. Drunks attempted to interfere the competition just steps from the PGA Tour’s first-ever on-site sports betting parlor that is expected to deliver vital profits to the Strategic Sports Group some day.
Drunks could not stand up straight (much less handle the muddy mounds). More losers ran onto the course and played in bunkers only to be arrested. Other losers broke out in fights. A woman was injured falling from the 16th hole grandstand, and the Saturday session saw such an influx of non-paying customers to all-you-can-drink hospitality that some combination of the tournament organizers, Scottsdale PD and the Fire Marshal cut off alcohol sales after the normally-organized Thunderbirds lost control of the proceedings.
As bad as that all was, the on-course hostility directed of players will carry the day because it will drive home the severity of this epic YDS breakout on a grand scale.
Zach Johnson had a complete meltdown over what seemed like fairly benign heckling by WM standards. Assuming we have the full story. One person shockingly not named Tron Carter apparently yelled, “Urban Meyer is better at coaching an NFL team than you are at coaching a Ryder Cup.” Meyer, for our international readers not up on Urb’s ways, went 2-11 in his brief Jax Jaguars stint before he was seen one-too-many times touching women not his wife in-season at bars. Among other issues. But this all made him an ideal fit for the family values of Fox Sports where he still has all the on-camera charisma of a dried-up zoysia divot. Anyway, the point is, Zach does not like being called “Sir” when he’s having an on course meltdown and being compared to a coaching weirdo. And since this angle shows a faint grin on the police officer’s face, the losing Captain’s overreaction was just a bit much.
Of course, there should be little empathy for any of these players who have been involved in shaping and justifying the PGA Tour’s emphasis on player enrichment over recent months. I’m not saying fans should interfere with the competition, but it was also quite easy to predict such resentment spilling out after a few too many Modelo’s.
What did they think would happen when inebriated dimwits got their shot at players during an event where debauchery is encouraged in the name of showing that golf can appeal to (young) people who just want an excuse to consume booze outdoors before noon?
The moral of this story and because this newsletter is devoted to majors?
My quarterly reminder that the most difficult, coveted and incredible ticket in all of sports can be found at The Masters. Where none of this nonsense is promoted, tolerated or necessary to have the experience of a lifetime. Yes, the Lords of O-gusta do demand that decent decorum is the order of the day. But golf is the focus. Play is sacred and fans become patrons for a reason. Prices are reasonable. Sanity more than prevails. After it all goes down, the sun still rises in the east.
So remember the key question to ask of those who appear inflicted with severe cases of YDS running the sport: WWTMD (what would the Masters do?).
But hey, at least Scottsdale had a great finish even if it was up against a moribund Super Bowl first half. One which, thankfully, turned thrilling by the time Nick Taylor was celebrating his fourth Tour win with family.
Taylor Wins The WM On Second Playoff Hole
As for the actual golf tournament? The WM Phoenix Open was a dandy despite awful weather that forced a late finish against what was expected to be one of the most watched telecasts in American history.
Incredible golf down the stretch by Nick Taylor led to a playoff win over the equally-clutch Charley Hoffman. An 18th hole birdie on the second playoff hole was Taylor’s fifth in his last six holes played. This was the 21st playoff in tournament history and the sixth in the last nine years at the always-fascinating TPC Scottsdale. Both players birdied the 18th on the first go before each hit fairway bunkers on the second hole where they hit impressive recoveries. But only Taylor made birdie.
Hoffman seemed to have the tournament in hand after an incredible final two rounds that saw him shoot 64-64, including a four-straight-birdie finish to Sunday third round restart that concluded many hours later with Hoffman posting an incoming 32.
But Taylor (-21), the runner-up last year and current Canadian Open champion, birdied three of his final four holes for a 65 and his fourth PGA Tour win (2014 Sanderson Farms Championship, 2020 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am, 2023 RBC Canadian Open.) The 35-year-old became the second Canadian to win the Phoenix Open since George Knudson (1968).
Hoffman, 47, would have earned a Masters invitation with a career-rejuvenating win. Instead, he recorded his tenth runner-up finish in 495 starts and was attempting to become the oldest winner on the PGA Tour since Phil Mickelson captured the 2021 PGA at age 50. He takes home $959,200 for the effort and plays his way into this week’s Genesis Invitational as a result.
Sam Burns and Scottie Scheffler tied for third at -18 while Sahith Theegala took solo fifth at -17.
Scheffler struggled on the greens again Sunday, losing nearly two strokes to the field with 31 putts 27 on the 16 greens he hit.
On the telecast side, NBC filled in for CBS while the Viacom-owned network broadcast the Super Bowl. I’m not exactly clear on what happened, but it seemed like a four-person booth was the concept and it worked about as well as the 2024 WM did on the ground. Unless you like people talking over each other, making stupid comments and cheerleading the ball into the hole in ways I’ve never heard before.
Johnson Wins LIV Shootout
Dustin Johnson held off a packed leaderboard, crisp conditions, the lure of casino time and an understandable urge to fall asleep whapping it around the lifeless Las Vegas Country Club, to win his third LIV title.
Johnson posted a final-round 69 to finish at 12-under and one ahead of Rangegloats Talor Gooch and Peter Uihlein. Saturday’s final group saw Johnson paired with Jon Rahm (+1, 71) and Bryson DeChambeau (+4, 74). At one point during Saturday’s final round, six players were tied for the lead at -10.
“It's a great win, and obviously today was tough,” Johnson said. “I knew it was going to be tough obviously with the conditions.”
Obviously.
Just 17 of 54 players broke par during the blustery final round where the field scoring averaged jumped by three strokes compared to rounds one and two.
Also…
Jon Rahm is off to an odd start to his what’s-another-$400-million-going-to-do-to-improve-your-life, life. He’s contended in both LIV starts only to stumble down the stretch in rather surprising fashion. Rahm hit two no-doubt-about-’er shanks on Saturday and struggled with the whole “Golf, But Louder” acoustics. At one point as the Studio 54 2024 remix of Leo Sayer’s You Make Me Feel Like Dancing blared throughout the LVCC grounds, Rahm took his sweet time at the 12th tee before sending a dreaded death stare toward fans. Not receiving the message to Rahm’s liking, the Masters winner then asked the innocent fans to silence their cell phones. But on a positive note Rahm is single-handedly keeping the Swearing Monitorers of Nexstar employed by forcing multiple muting sequences to protect those young CW viewership ears.
Captain Brooks Koepka’s Slasher GC captured the team portion thanks in part to free agent signee Graeme McDowell’s final round 65.
LIV has more kinks to work out with television partners at the CW. Ad breaks randomly intervened in the coverage and at one point, an abrupt interruption featuring a CW house advertisement was intruded upon by an actual ad.
Hoshino Wins in Qatar
No drunks in Qatar!
Rikuya Hoshino claimed his maiden DP World Tour title with a one stroke win in the Commercial Bank Qatar Masters where public drunkenness will get you six months in prison.
“Every shot was important but the last tee shot there was the most nerve-wracking,” Hoshino said. “The putt on 18, my heart was racing.”
The 27-year-old entered the week ranked 107th in the world and is projected to rise to 75th by Nosferatu.
The budding Japanese star began Sunday’s finale in a three-way tie for the lead but his four-under 68 was enough to hold off France’s Ugo Coussaud.
A six-time Japan Golf Tour winner, Hoshino could be making a late bid for a Masters special invitation off this win and second place finishes in the ISPS HANDA Australian Open and the Fortinet Australian PGA Championship. Coming from Japan may help his Masters cause since, allegedly, reportedly and really just a hunch of mine, his country of origin has helped inspire a few past special invites to a deserving international player. Allegedly!
“I’m so honored to win this wonderful tournament,” Hoshino said. “I was disappointed to finish runner-up in the two Australian tournaments so I’m so happy to finally win.
“I was nervous but I just tried to enjoy it. I’m so happy now.”
Currently, Japan is only represented in The Masters field by Hideki Matsuyama.
Meronk Motivated By Ryder Snub, Lighter Schedule
Adrian Meronk seems to have confused The Telegraph’s James Corrigan with his psychotherapist last week in Las Vegas. The Pole recently jumped to LIV Golf after becoming the last man out in Europe’s 2023 Ryder Cup roster race.
Since losing out to Ludvig Aberg, Meronk has made clear he was gutted by Captain Luke Donald’s decision and now admits the politics behind the snub—and a desire to play less—ultimately drove his thinking.
This was interesting:
“What happened with the Ryder Cup just opened my eyes as to how everything works. Yeah, and that in life, especially when you are a professional athlete, it is not your whole life. You just have to make sure that your family is good and that you are good and feeling good.”
Meronk admitted to losing motivation after the snub but tells Corrigan he “got it back quite quickly.” He then proceeded to say his decision was primarily motivated by playing less. Meronk made 29 starts in 2023 while splitting time between the DP World Tour and PGA Tour.
“The last two years I had really great years, but to be honest, I wasn’t enjoying it as much. I was just constantly on the road. We didn’t have a proper home, just packing from hotel to hotel, airport to airport.
“I was sitting with my parents and my girlfriend during Christmas, and I was just saying, ‘yeah, I had a great year, but I didn’t really enjoy it’. I remember when I won in Italy last May, waking up on the Monday, and saying, ‘ok, great, I won the tournament. But now I have to start all over again, go to a new course, get my routine going again. Where is the joy?’.
“So one of the best things is having more time to enjoy life with my family and friends.”
Meronk has qualified for the Masters thanks to finishing 2023 ranked 48th in the Official World Golf Ranking.
Genesis Invitational Preview
